Bhagavan is always there when I needed Him
by Tom Curley

Earlier this evening I joined in for a phone diksha with Raniji. During the latter portion of the phone-in program, Rani instructed us to visualize golden fluid rising up through the Sushumna, and simultaneously entering and pouring into our sahasrara.

As I did this, Rani announced that diksha would be given. I felt a subtle sensation enveloping me, but immediately, and much to my delight, I saw Bhagavan emerging from what I thought may have been the region of my heart. He was seated, looking very much like the statue of Abraham Lincoln (another champion of unity and freedom, you'll note) at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, with his feet firmly planted before him, his arms outstretched, resting with palms down on the arms of the chair. He was wearing white, and was enveloped in a barely visible golden glow. I could see his smile. Now, this was an amazingly detailed and realistic vision. I felt I could reach out and touch him, and it was curiously similar to the vision of Jesus I had while on a retreat with Rani a few years ago (that incident is described in my book). Bhagavan's form was set against a pure black background. The chair was tilting and floating, and at one point the thought occurred to me that his motion mimicked the scene in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy's House is spinning down from the sky, just as it's about to land on the witch in Munchkin Land.

But the image didn't last long, and after fading slightly, he returned into my heart. Then in the black void this was replaced by a simple white bindi of light. I forget the precise symbolism of this, but I do know it is the emanation of one of the four bodies or levels of the human being. This was taught to me by Swami Muktananda, who discusses that in his own autobiography.

This experience of Bhagavan at this time was quite significant for me. Earlier in the day I was having a conversation with another dharma student, and I mentioned that I had been feeling disconnected with Bhagavan, and unsure how to relate to him. I voiced my desire to meet him, and she mentioned that he might visit me before I made it to India. Indeed, Bhagavan did visit me once already, an experience also mentioned in my book, when he was dressed hilariously in a furniture store. So here again, he was letting me know of his perennial accessibility, a trusted friend.

On a final point, I was unaware that Rani was going to discuss a specific topic, and I was surprised when she raised the topic of the effectiveness of our prayers. This had been the other topic of conversation with my friend earlier also. So, with a smirk of delight and recognition, this telephone workshop (for it was just that) hit the nail on the head with regard to my state of consciousness and frame of mind. But moreover, the vision of - or, rather, the visit from - Bhagavan gave me clear certainty that he is always very, very near to me whenever I might need him - nestled right within my own heart, which was the promise he gave me (as indeed he did to all of us) when I attended the first Level one workshop in early 2002.

Man oh man, what a wonderful and delicious experience. Thank you Raniji, and double thanks to Carmela.

Tom Curley
Artist, author of "Masters Among Us"